Slowly Changing, Always Intertwined
by calliejasper
Summary: "Oh, I see, you're still denying the fact that you fancy him." James and Lily were always this, perhaps that, never simple, eternally complicated, and yet they were intertwined.
1. Chapter 1 - Glimpses

**A/N:** Okay so right away I'm going to give a heads up about the M rating. This will have cursing, unpleasant situations, and _very_ pleasant situations. This, of course, is my hopeful attempt at a Marauder-era story. While the main focus of this is the epic lovers collectively know as Jily, I'll be recharacterizing the old, introducing the new, and developing the unimportant.

 **Disclaimer:** I wish I could've written something as well as the books this is based off written by JKR.

Chapter One - Glimpses

or

Human Nature

There are things in life that make you smile. Maybe you've just had a fantastic day, maybe your favorite song played on the radio, or maybe it was something as simple and arbritary as having a stranger give you a small smile.

While these small things can affect your mood tremendously well, the same goes for the unfortunate events that may grasp at you. Maybe you tripped going up the stairs, had to sit alone while your two friends paired up, maybe you forgot you had a test, or maybe you caught a stranger glaring at you.

Either way, these small things no one recollects later in life can shape your nature, just a bit. And if the same thing happens again and again, it builds up.

Maybe Lily's constant rejections were what changed James teasingly, belligerent nature. Maybe the changing world had a hand in it or maybe the prejudice and unfairness of everything finally got to him. Maybe he realized he didn't want to be looked at the way the second years he hexed looked at him.

It could've been any of that. But one thing was certain, by the end of seventh year James had become very different from the boy he was at beginning of his first year at Hogwarts.

I would be lying, of course, if it wasn't outright stated that Lily may have changed a wee bit as well.

Of Hearts, Of Minds

Severus Snape was not truly in love. No, he just had a frightening and unhealthy obsession.

Sirius Black had never allowed himself to feel more than the occasional fancy for many different birds. 

Remus Lupin felt hesitant at the idea of receiving or giving such strong feelings and the secrets that would have to be revealed if he commited to such a thing. 

Peter Pettigrew believed in love, but didn't care _enough_ about it and the people he loved, as would be proven in a few years time.

Frank Longbottom thought he just wanted to be mates, then best mates, then even closer, so although it was a bit of a shocker to him when he finall realized what he wanted, everyone else had seen it all along.

Marlene McKinnon thought she was in love, as many teenagers do, and she was deeply so. So much, that she brushed off or just didn't notice the red flags and the unhealthiness surrounding her partner.

Mary MacDonald had her fair share of the lot, but she knew that she couldn't last forever bouncing from boy to boy. She also knew she couldn't afford the chance of a repeat of her first and only disastrous long term relationship. 

Dorcas Meadowes found the idea of falling love and love at first sight perpostrous. She fancied some quite a bit, but love? No, not yet at least.

Alice Prewett was satisfied with where she was at but was nervous to get more serious as she had always felt a small nagging in the back of her mind about her boyfriend...

Lily Evans fell slowly, over the course of such as many events and years. Lily was also in such a desperate state of denial, that by the time the realization struck her, it may have been too late.

James Potter knew without a doubt he was head over heels, yet he somehow owned it and made the target of his affections feel the embrassment that he rarely showed.

Nothing lasts forever, and these students views of love are not exempt from that statement.

All of these teenagers paths would intertwine and connect over the next two years, their last two, at Hogwarts, but we will not be starting this story there. Not yet.

No, we'll start this story where it all began for our main couple. 

We'll start where Lily's carefully built friendships crumbled and where James actions began to have serious consequences.

We'll start when the first big moments in the students at Hogwarts lives began, and where the outside world grew more and more twisted at the whispers of an impending war.

We'll start in 5th year, 1975.

 **A/N:** Here is the prologue for my cliche Jily fanfic. Hopefully I'll have the first chapter up in the next week, but as I'm planning on making them a bit long there may be some of a lag. 

Reviews are typing up and publishing this prologue in less than two hours.

-Callie


	2. Chapter 2-Pieces

**A/N:** It took way longer than expected to write this chapter, sorry. I hope you lot enjoy it! It's raining a lot here as I write this (although it won't be raining when I finish) and I just love the rain so much. While this section takes place in 5th year, we'll be diving head first into the beginning of 6th year soon enough.

 **Disclaimer:** While I may have created this mediocre story about them, James and Lily themselves were created by JKR.

Chapter Two - Pieces

or

A Shot in the Heart

There are moments that overwhelm you and events that make you freeze in your tracks. The time it takes your brain to register the horrible words you've just been told or the embarrassment that's been inflicted upon you is quick. 

Less than a second. 

And for that blissful second, you're okay.

And then everything comes crashing down.

Earlier That Day

The Gryffindor 5th year girls dormitory was up earlier than almost anyone else in Hogwarts.

First class was at nine a.m., with breakfast being served from half past seven to a little before nine, which meant Lily tended to wake up at about seven to seven thirty so she had ample time to get dressed, maybe shower, put on makeup, and have a relaxing breakfast.

Today she was up at half past four in the morning.

"Wake up Lily! Wake up!" An excited Marlene shook her awake, shining her wand, which had been cast with a quick Lumos charm, over Lily's face. Blinking awake, the redhead groaned, throwing an arm to shield her eyes from the luminous wood.

"Don't groan at me, you agreed to do this!" Lily looked over her covers to her friend, and groaned again. Marlene smirked then turned to Alice's bed to repeat her task.

After one last stolen second in her sanctuary of blankets and sheets, Lily yawned and sat up in bed, feeling fairly frazzled. Other than the slight burst of light being cast from the tip of Marlene's wand, the dormitory was rather dim. The curtains had been pushed aside from the windows to let in what moonlight there was shining from the full moon and the Hogwarts grounds she could see from her position looked as if they were being bathed in silver, with scattered shadows dotting here and there, the Forbidden Forest in the distance starkingly black. A slight form stood before the glass closest to Lily.

"Ya' know, I always liked being up before everyone else."

A cozily dressed Mary, who was leaning against the windowsill, continued to scan the fields and the forest, "Feels a bit different this early. Nothing truly looks the same when you've got the time to actually look it over."

Lily nodded absentmindedly, although Mary was still staring longingly out the window paying no mind to her. It was much to early for her brain to begin to form sentences, but Mary was somehow already in a poetic state of mind and looked as if she had never gone to bed in the first place. How she never looked tired, Lily had no inkling.

The petite girl's silhouette in front of the window was a rather beautiful thing to see, and it was fitting for a slight bird like Mary, albeit it was certainly too early for Lily to truly appreciate it.

"Oi! I'm up, good Lord!" Triumphant Marlene, now only having one more girl left to rouse, started towards Dorcas' bed, only to see her friend already sitting up.

One day Lily might be able to see what certainly would have been an interesting interaction to observe, an excited Marlene attempting to awake an almost always moody Dorcas, but today, fortunately for Marlene, was not that day.

"Let's get on with this then, you lot." Dorcas waved a hand to indicate all of them and then slid out of her bed with an indignant 'huff'.

The next few minutes sped by as the girls hurriedly got ready for the day. Unlike Dorcas and Alice, Lily had thought ahead and had taken a shower last night so she just had to brush her teeth and put on deodorant, get dressed, yank a brush through her hair a few dozen times, and apply some mascara and concealer before she was ready to leave. She would be wearing this makeup for the rest of the school day.

Not the same could be said of the others though, Mary already had a full face of makeup on and a few sips of a cleanliness potion as Lily was blinking awake, while Marlene and Alice spent a good few minutes bickering about who would take a shower first. While they did so, Dorcas slipped into the bathroom and turned on the facet, locking the door behind her with a quick spell causing an outburst of protest.

Marlene conceded to taking a shower a bit later, which made sense because she was probably going to be sweaty after what they were going to do.

But in the end, at just before five a.m. the five witches slipped out of their fifth year common room, wands in pockets, comfortable clothing on, silencing charms preformed, a large thin object in Marlene's grasp, and they began their journey.

With Marlene walking cautiously in front followed by Dorcas, then Mary, Alice, and Lily taking up the rear they made their way down the tower's spiral steps to the common room and, one by one, out the door.

As Alice stepped through the portrait hole, Lily heard a slight sniff, almost undetectable, but not quite so. Spinning around, she suspiciously scanned the sofas and stairways for the source for a good few seconds, but after seeing no trace of another being, she hurriedly left through which the others had, the sound all but forgotten.

"Hurry up!" Dorcas hissed as the ginger carefully closed the painting behind her.

"Wait a moment, will you?"

The fat lady opened her eyes as soon as her canvas covered the hole. "Goodness! Now what do you girls think your doing at such an ungodly-"

But the witches has already disappeared into the shadows. Had they stayed they may have heard the Fat Lady's annoyed remark; "-And now I've been right started again, what with Potter, Black, and Pettigrew slipping in just a minute before you..."

Alas, this was not the case and it would be a while before Lily knew that the sound she heard was not just a figment of her imagination.

For now, she was concentrated on Alice's swishing back as Marlene led them at an impish pace through the dark, sleeping castle, pausing each second or so, creeping through corridors, making it her uptmost goal to stay silent as the others were doing.

After what felt like an eternity, but was really only fifteen minutes, Marlene successfully guided them to their destination. The bolted doors leading out to the Quidditch pitch, forest, lake, and the rest of the Hogwarts grounds loomed in front of the small group.

Everyone, even Dorcas, hesitated for a second. A quick one, but a second none the less.

"Alohomora." purred Dorcas, and the familiar click of the locks sounded.

Looking to her right and left, Marlene slowly twisted the nob, waiting for some type of alarm to sound or for Filch to appear. Neither happened and she cautiously swung the door open, taking care to not let it hit the wall.

Dorcas followed immediately, as did Lily and Mary, but Alice paused on the threshold, biting her lip as the other began walking. A few steps down the path, Marlene noticed they were missing someone.

"Dorcas, wait." Marlene nudged her friend who was leading, and the four witches paused a few meters from the doorway.

"What?"

"It's Alice."

"Oh good hell, we've been over this plan a dozen times."

"I know, and believe me I don't want to wait any longer but you know how she gets."

"Well she agreed to it before so, not to be rude, but I don't really give a shit about what she-"

"I'll handle it." Lily interjected softly.

The two arguing witches glanced at each other then at her. "Don't worry, you three continue and I'll be there shortly, with or without Alice."

Dorcas shrugged. Marlene beamed and the hushed conversation and steady pace resumed as Mary began telling the two others about a dream she had.

Scampering back to her nervous friend, she put an arm around her. "Lily, I-" quaked Alice, gulping. "Oh, love." Lily pulled the girl into a tight embrace, then held her at arms length.

"Listen, I know your worried, and you should be. If we get caught, I'm not sure what will happen to be quite frank, but," She looked into Alice's eyes, "but, we're doing this for Marlene. You know that. You know how much she wants this. And while Dorcas may be the most indifferent when it comes to reprimands and Marlene the most impulsive, and Mary, well, the most-Mary, we're all helping for the same reason. Aren't we?"

She let the question drop and Alice sighed. "Yeah, yeah we are. It's just..." The sentence trailed off.

"Yes, yes it is." Agreed Lily. "And you don't have to do this, we both know you can't afford to get caught. It's your descision really Alice, and although we've been planning this for days now, we most certainly haven't thought through everything. Honestly, you're probably the most levelheaded of the lot right now."

Alice smiled.

"But between you and me, Alice, if we get caught, Marlene will most definitely take the blunt of the blame. And then we both know Dorcas will get right golly pissed at her for doing so. And then Mary will defend Marlene and then we'll have to listen to the argument for days until it dies down. So we've got that much to look forward to. But that really, most likely, probably, maybe, won't happen if we _stop standing in this doorway._ "

Alice closed her eyes a second. "Just remember," Chimed in Lily, "You said you were completely on board last night."

"Yes, but that was then and this is now and now that I'm actually here..." Alice groaned covering her face with her hands. She dragged her hands down the sides of her face and after a moment smiled wryly at Lily. "We both know I'm going to give in so I may as well do it now."

Lily pumped her fist and gave a silent cheer.

Linking her arm through Alice's, she let the heavy door slide shut silently behind her, and then they were off. The other witches had been swallowed by the early morning, but luckily this was both of the girls fifth year attending Hogwarts and they know the route to the Quidditch pitch like the back of their hands.

"It's not that I don't wanna help Marlene, you know that's not it, Lily." Alice said in hushed tones as they paced along. Lily nodded, understandingly.

She knew that wasn't why Alice had reconsidered coming along last second.

She knew that since she was about 10, Alice Prewett had wanted to be an Auror more than almost anything in her life.

She also knew that few who tried actually succeeded and if Alice wanted even a shot at becoming one, she had to have perfect marks in classes and on her exams, and an absolutely clean slate.

That meant Alice, who came off as shy, was actually rather brave for doing this. Although, few people realized it and even fewer appreciated it.

When they got to the field, Marlene was already in the air doing laps on her broom.

"Lean forward more!" Shouted Dorcas, who was in the center of the field. "No, that's not enough, no-yes! Good just like that! Now bend your legs a bit-yes! Oh for God's sake Marlene, you won't fall off, keep leaning! Your turns need to be more sharp!"

Mary waved the two new girls to her spot at the edge of the field.

"Have we missed anything?" Lily inquired, collapsing down on the grass next to her.

"Nothing too interesting." Mary didn't ask about Alice. Lily liked that about her. She liked that a lot.

As Dorcas's instructing got louder, they all turned to listen.

"GOD DAMMIT MARLENE! IF YOU WANT TO BE A CHASER YOU BETTER GET USED TO THE BLOODY BROOM AND BE PREPARED TO BE ROUGH UP THERE! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO SWERVE!"

"FUCK YOU MEADOWES!" Marlene turned in a U shape so fast, Lily was surprised her broom didn't snap.

"THAT'S IT! NOW STOP ACTING LIKE A FIRST YEAR HUFFLEPUFF THAT'S JUST SHAT THEMSELVES AND GO FASTER!"

The swish in the sky that was Marlene sped up almost immediately. The girls watched her as she swerved around the perimeter of the field then plummeted straight down before pulling herself up from hitting the ground last second. Their eyes followed her as she did circles through the different hoops. She then turned right and left at random throwing her weight just right each time so that her broom was being pulled this way and that before she finally landed a few meters away from the awestruck girls.

Dorcas ran over to them as Marlene swung off her broom.

"I think Gryffindor just found its new chaser!" Eyes shining, she high fived Marlene, who was elated.

There were few thing that Dorcas cared so utterly completely about, and even fewer she was enthusiastic about. Quidditch happened to fall into both of those categories.

She was the strongest keeper the Gryffindor team had seen for years. If she wasn't so blimey fast and blunt at her job, Lily reckoned there would've been no way for the team to accept her in just her second year. Not only did Dorcas start earlier than most players did, she replaced a student three years ahead of her.

One could easily imagine the appalled reactions that got.

The only other person that Dorcas fell short of in love for Quidditch that Lily could think of was James Potter. And that was only because the boy had somehow not only become Seeker in his _first year,_ but kept the position and was now captain of the team in just his fifth year. The youngest captain in years.

But right now, she didn't particularly want to think about James Potter. Lily erased thoughts of that prat from her mind and refocused on Marlene who was bouncing on her heels in excitement.

"And you're absolutely sure we've covered everything?"

"Yes."

"And I've done it all right?"

"Completely."

"And I'm prepared for tryouts later today?"

"Yes."

"And you're absolutely sure-"

"YES!" All the girls yelled back, startling poor Marlene. She blinked, then grinned.

"Those bastards don't know what they're in for."

"If you mean Potter, then yes, he certainly doesn't."

Marlene and Dorcas exchanged mutual snickers at the idea of how surprised James was going to be when Marlene not only showed up for tryouts later that day, but was also completely brilliant. While Dorcas's methods of teaching may have not been the kindest or most orthodox, yelling and taunting was certainly effective.

The Marlene standing in front of them today was a much more advanced and prepared girl than the one who had asked Dorcas to help her out a month ago.

Back then, the girls would go off during breaks when the pitch was empty and Marlene would get in a few rushed moments of teaching. As the day of tryouts neared more in more, Dorcas crammed in as much time as she could to help out her friend.

Even from where she usually sat cheering at the sidelines, Lily could see it wasn't enough. Marlene just wasn't naturally talented at Quidditch and she knew it. But she tried her best and that's what made Dorcas put such a strong amount of effort into helping her. So then, Marlene and Dorcas began staying out after Dorcas finished practice, being careful to stay out of eye of the other players, lest they begin to suspect about Marlene. Marlene was dramatic, quite so, and she wanted the others to be utterly surprised when when she expertly swooped to and fro through the hoops on her broom at tryouts. She improved tremendously, but last second Marlene wanted one more training session before tryouts so that was the reasoning behind sneaking out this very night.

She had checked and rechecked to make sure the field was clear, to see who was on patrol duty, and even bribed Peeves to tell her the rounds the teachers would be taking so she could avoid them whilst sneaking out.

When the others had offered to accompany her, their mines were put at ease knowing that Mcgonagall wouldn't have a chance at catching them that night.

It was actually a pretty brilliant idea on Marlene's part and it was paying off.

"Okay, we've got about an hour and a half more before we've got to go in so I want you to do fly two laps then practice your swerves between the hoops again. Try to get tighter on your bends."

Marlene nodded. Hopping back onto her Nimbus, she was off again repeating the drills she had been preforming almost every day for the past month.

Out of all the times Lily had seen Marlene do these techniques, this was probably the best she had done them ever before. She was more than ready for tryouts.

Next to Lily, Dorcas finally sat down upon the grass. "I think she's may just get a spot on the team." Dorcas glanced at each of their knowing smiles and narrowed her eyes. "Don't think I'm being soft or nice. Marlene did good work, she'll get good things in return."

Alice nodded solemnly, although the effect was ruined because she then broke into a grin and attempted to smother her chuckles. "Ya' know, for a second there it almost sounded like you had some emotion called empathy." Lily teased. "Dream on." Dorcas retorted, causing both Lily, Alice, and Mary to giggle. The rest of the morning practice sped by as they watched Marlene fly in the light of the rising sun.

"What do you mean ' _We can't see him?!_ " exclaimed an outraged Sirius. The large, clearly annoyed, woman in front of him crossed her arms and repeated her statement a second time. "He's ill. He went to his mums this weekend and caught a sickness. I don't care if he's your best mate, you aren't able 'to see him until-"

"Bullshit!"

"Sirius." James warned.

As usual, Sirius paid no heed to James. Crossing the room seperating him from the new nurse, he read her name tag.

"Well, Madam _Pomfrey,"_ he drawled, "You and I both know damn well that's a lie. I was bloody with him a few hours ago for fuck's sake! And if you think you can keep us from seeing our best mate then you're not right in the head, you hear?"

If Madam Pomfrey faltered, James couldn't see it from where he was standing a few meters away next to an anxious Peter.

"Young man I've had quite enough of this vulgarity from you. I ought to call your house head- no, I ought to call Dumbledore down here to deal with you now!"

A sly Serious raised an eyebrow and quickly changed tactics.

"I think you're right. Yeah. Let's call Dumbledore down and see what he has to say about this, right? I mean he has let us visit our friend every month since first year so I'm sure he'll agree with you, Madam... Pomegranate was it?" The woman who now looked uncertain, started to speak but Sirius rushed on.

"I mean, it's your first day of the job, of course you know everything already-"

"FIVE MINUTES!" Madam Pomfrey snapped, face flushed.

The three boys hurried through the door.

"AND NOT A MINUTE MORE!"

The dining hall was occupied by a fair portion of the student body when all the girls, excluding Marlene who was showering, arrived at just after 8. It was good that they had thought ahead to get ready for the day before practice, or else they might've not found seats together in a desirable part of the Gryffindor table.

Their house table was rowdy, as usual, and Lily expertly led the group to a few empty seats near the center of the table.

Plopping down on her seat right of Dorcas, with Mary and Alice sliding onto the bench adjacent to her, Lily began to prepare her breakfast, consisting of two pieces of toast with marmalade while the other made their breakfast. Mary sipped on a glass of orange juice. Dorcas scooped up some eggs with ketchup and some toast with marmite. Alice prepared a fruit salad, but was sure to include a few bits of bacon.

Soon, chatter about this and that began to ensue.

A good ten minutes later, a freshly washed and made up Marlene arrived. She slipped into the empty seat next to Mary and joined the conversation as she grabbed some food.

"Crikey! I almost forgot!" exclaimed Marlene, rather loudly, causing Alice to jump. "I heard Jessamine Collinsworth talking to Mulciber and Avery in the hall yesterday and-don't look at me like that Dorcas I wasn't eavesdropping, I just happened to be there!"

"Sure you were Marlene, just like that time when you happened to hear Reginald and Michael talking or the time you heard Shacklebolt and Stebbins talking or the time you heard-"

"Okay so maybe I was listening." Marlene admitted, a bit sheepishly, sliding back into her bench. "But you would've as well if you'd've heard this."

"What did you hear?" A legitamently interested Alice asked.

Marlene leaned forward. "I heard Mulciber and Avery talking about-you know."

"What?" asked Mary, softly.

"You _know._ Becoming..."

"No, Mary, dear, we really don't know." Lily said.

"Oh come on, you _knowwwww_."

"Spit it out!" snapped Dorcas.

Mary frowned at Dorcas before taking a deep breath and saying louder, very hurriedly, "Becoming Death Eaters!"

" _What?"_ cried Alice.

Both Lily's jaw and her piece of bread dropped.

Mary looked aghast.

Even Dorcas looked shocked for a second.

"I know, I know it was probably nothing but still I heard it and I'm not sure if I should-"

"When did you hear this?" Lily spoke, very slowly.

Marlene's brow furrowed. "Y-yesterday after Potions, I'm pretty sure."

"And you're absolutely sure this is what you heard?"

Mary hesitated.

"Well, no not absolutely, but I'm pretty sure, because Jessamine was asking Mulciber about the Dark Mark and he said she shouldn't care unless she was planning on becoming Death Eaters. Like, like they were, he said-" Marlene bit her lip nervously.

Talk of alliance with Voldemort was taboo. Lily had heard of the events of the Wizarding War through gossip and the paper, but never had she heard a witch nor wizard openly admit alliance to You Know Who and his cause.

The horrified look on poor Mary's face kept Lily painfully aware that she was not the only one with 'tainted' blood at the table. While she herself was Muggleborn, Mary was as well.

Alice's family was Pureblood although they were openly opposed to the prejudice against Muggleborns. The Prewetts allianced themselves with both the Weasleys and the Potters, to name a few, on such matters. Lily couldn't even begin to imagine Mrs. Prewett as someone who could hate another human for something they couldn't control.

Marlene lived with just her mother who was a witch. Her father? A muggle. So while she wasn't considered as pungent to the Wizard race as Lily and Mary, she was still un-pure.

Lily could honestly say that throughout the years she knew Dorcas, she had no idea what Dorcas was. Such questions were shut down immediately by Dorcas, but Lily suspected her friend was more ashamed of her family's opinions than anything.

Lily felt rather lucky to be surrounded by open minded and good hearted people as her friends. Such people were becoming more and more scarce as the threat of impending battle loomed.

"Even if you did hear it." Dorcas interrupted. "It may just be talk. Mulciber and Avery? They're all mouth, no trousers. I doubt those gits would make it more than thirty seconds as Death Eaters before they pissed themselves."

Dorcas' words comforted Lily a little, but not enough. Not enough.

"And Jessamines a bit of a slag." Alice added helpfully.

Mary nodded, looking much less distraught than a second before. Marlene hugged her friend and whispered to her reassuringly. Dorcas was brave, Alice was Pureblood, and Marlene had much less of a reason to be worried for her life.

But Lily?

Lily was sinking.

She was sinking, sinking, sinking in this awful feeling that was spreading through the pit of her stomach and expanding through her heart.

 _It's all happening too fast. Much too fast._

 _They're just his friends. They're just his friends._

 _And besides it's just talk. Just talk._

 _He would never do that. Never._

 _He's not even Pureblood himself, he couldn't ally himself with those prats. Those purist prats._

 _He knows how I feel about this. Just because his friends mentioned it does not mean he ever has or ever will._

But despite her trying to convince herself, the following thought stuck with her the rest of the day,

 _Could Severus be involved in any of this?_

 **A/N:** It's been a bit over a month and I was planning on having this out within a week. Sigh. Sorry about that, but the next chapter will be chugging along now soon enough, so stay tuned for that.

Reviews are taking an entire month to publish four thousand words.

-Callie


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